


Holy Watery

by Lokiisson



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst?, M/M, soft, wound
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-06-26 13:19:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19769020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lokiisson/pseuds/Lokiisson
Summary: What if? Aziraphale didn't gave Crowley Holy Water and that this stupid idiot try to do so by himself?





	Holy Watery

**Author's Note:**

> I don't fucking know if this is good or not, but I tried something.
> 
> Comments and kudos appreciated as always <3

Crowley stepped out of the pub. Nobody wanted to break into a church at his place; the holy water quest was more difficult than he thought. 

After the Witchfinder guy talked to him, he crossed the street and got into his Bentley. Aziraphale was on the passenger seat, a bit sweaty, playing with his hands.

"What are you doing here?" asked Crowley. 

"I needed a word with you." 

"What?" 

"I work in Soho, I hear things. I hear that you're setting up a… caper? To rob a church." Aziraphale turned to him. "Crowley it's too dangerous. Holy water won't just kill your body it will destroy you completely."

"You told me what you think, an 105 years ago." sighted Crowley. 

"And I haven't changed my mind. But I can't have you risking your life."

"I won't  **die** . It's for insurance I want it, in case something goes wrong, I already told you that." 

Aziraphale stared at him for a moment. 

"Insurance? Insurance of  **what** ?  **For** what?" 

"Insurance in case it goes wrong. The agreement, my side, something." 

Aziraphale couldn't understand what Crowley meant by  _ insurance.  _ He had a thermos of holy water but… with such an answer, he just couldn't give it to him. 

They stared a little longer at each other. 

"You're too crazy for me Crowley." 

Aziraphale get out of the car, giving Crowley some little scared stares. How could his friend be that reckless? He was a demon, sure, but even demons don't go that far. 

Crowley, on his side, could understand the angel. He knew that what he said wasn't clear and could be terrifying for such a creature. But actually  **expressing** the fear he had at this moment would mean he was acknowledging it, and he clearly couldn't do such a thing. 

He drove by his flat, thinking about his plan. Stealing a church. A plan as crazy and deadly as a demon could ever be. But he will do it. Because he needed the fucking water. 

  
  
  
  
____________________________________________________  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Saturday night

  
  


A low grinding resonated in the darkness of the church. Then a silhouette appeared. 

"aoichdkns. Thanks church to remind me I'm not allowed here." whispered the silhouette. 

It moved towards the top of the building in a really weird way, as the floor was covered with hot embers.

“Holy water, holy water, where. are. youuu.” he looked around him. “Come on Crowley, you cannot stay here for too long.”

“HOLY WATER? YOU WANT HOLY WATER, DEMON?” resounded a powerful voice.

All the lights suddenly turned themselves on, revealing a priest and two monks standing on the choir.

“You are such a fool to step in the house of god like that.” A movement of his hand and the two monks raised two cups in front of them. “Proceed.”

The monks walked toward Crowley.

“Oh really, you really think that two monks and their wine will stop me?” he haranged with insolence. “I’m a demon, and you’re only humans.”

“Oh yes, demon Crowley, we are aware of that.”

The demon didn’t moved an inch, why would he? It only was two stupid monks with their stupid cups. What he didn’t thought about however, was the fact that they knew he was a demon and that he talked about holy water. How could have they known such a thing? The two men continued their approached, getting closer and closer. The one on his left put his fingers in the cup, and sprinkled drops of the liquid on Crowley.

A scream, loud and clear.

**It was holy water.**

“What did I told you demon? Your very existence ends  **now.** ”

Crowley felt that those stupids humans would continue to do what they have started.

“Well, nice to meet you all, but I think it’s time for me to go.” he said, reluctantly.

But he didn’t even had the time to make a step back that the monk on his right poured the entirety of the cup on him. A second scream, louder than the first one reverberated in the building, making the wall rumble.

It  **really** was time for Crowley to go.

The second monk started to move forward, but Crowley made appear a chair in front of him, which he stumbled on, dropping the second cup and overthrowing the deadly liquid on Crowley’s left.

The pain was so deep and horrible that the demon couldn’t think straight. What a stupid idiot he has been, going in a church like that at night,  **alone.** He managed to get to his Bentley, oh, his precious Bentley. The only thing he could focus on for the moment was just to relieve the pain, get to Aziraphale. And awkwardly, with this thought in his head, he managed to get in Soho quite correctly (we will avoid of course to talk about the numerous accidents that happened this night, leading to the idea of a possible seatbell). 

  
  
  
\--------------------------------------------------------  
  


He finally was in Aziraphale’s bookshop’s street. He just turned the car towards it, and thought at the last moment to pull the brake in order not to destroy the shop.

He get out of the car and rang, multiple times at the bell.

“Please, angel, please hurry up.” he moaned.

Then finally, the blond headed sir opened the door to a fainting Crowley, who couldn’t do anything except falling to the floor, head first.

"Oh dear, oh Crowley, what have you done?" 

Aziraphale looked at his friend, he had a sort of a burn on his left side. And it clearly was one, it was an ugly and pretty nasty burn and still growing bigger. Crowley was murmuring some intelligible things and wincing under the pain. 

"Hot water, I need hot water." 

With a snap of his finger the angel put Crowley on a couch, couch who never were here before. He didn't quite ran to the kitchen but was indeed acting fast. After he grabbed a bowl of hot water and a towel, he came back to his friend, still in pain on the couch. 

“oh dear, oh dear.” the angel whispered to himself “what a nasty burn, Crowley, how in Heaven did you get that?”

He couldn’t quite help his friend with all his clothes on, and even if it was supposed to be an human side to feel bad while naked, it was a feeling that Aziraphale had. But he had to help his friend; so with a snap of his finger, he made his clothes disappear.

Damn the demon was pretty, the angel thought, even so it wasn’t the time for such foolish thoughts. He continued to heal his friend as best as possible, and even took the entire night to remove whatever on his skin made the burn grow.

After several hours of cleaning and cream application, the angel finally managed to make his friend a bit more at ease. He then snapped his fingers again, moving him in the bed of the flat upstairs and himself at his side.

“Oh Crowley,” he said, setting on the chair beside the bed. “knew I should’ve give you this holy water before.”

“I-I… I didn’t meant to.” whispered the man in question.

“You didn’t meant to what?”

“I didn’t meant to fall.”

He moved a bit, tensing himself under the pain, grinding teeth.

Aziraphale looked at him, with a bit of pain in his eyes; never Crowley talked about that, he knew about the fall, he knew about the pain after falling, but never that. He never ever said that he didn’t do it on purpose.

“They just, They just casted me away because I couldn’t understand Their plans.” the demon continued “I really didn’t meant to fall.”

A tear came out of his eye. Crowley was actually  **crying** . The angel couldn’t believe it, a demon, crying.

He didn’t knew how to ease his friend, so he just removed the rolling tear and fondled his cheek. Awkwardly, it seemed to calm him a bit, so the angel just continued to do such until he noticed that the demon felt asleep.

Then a snaky tongue came out of his mouth, gently hissing, as snakes do to smell the air.

The angel hold a gasp but calm down quickly, it is true that basically, Crowley is a snake, so it is obvious that he’s taking his basic behaviour while asleep, since he cannot control them. But don’t snake need warmth in order to survive? Or is it just to move around? Either way he won’t let his friend down and catching something bad because he didn’t do anything, and since he was tired too, his sleepy brain could only think about one idea; to sleep with Crowley, in order to give him a possible warmth.

“Well, I just hope it doesn’t annoy him or that I’m doing the right thing.” said the angel to himself.

With a snap of his finger he got into his pajama and stepped into the bed, being careful not to touch Crowley’s right side. And with the repetitive hissing of his demon, he fell in sleep rather quickly.


End file.
